My creativity seems to have deserted me. Or maybe i was never creative (though everyone around does think i am). I know I pay attention to details that most people miss. I have a decent sense of dress and fashion and interiors. I write decently alright, albeit, only when i am in the mood for it. I can think of solutions to tricky problems (which are not mine) and for the last 5 five years I have survived in a job in a industry that I am not fond of.
My problem is that i get bored easy. And when i am with friends i cant be my normal self. In fact, I dont even know my real self anymore. I am setting out to discover that. At 29 years. But then, if not now, then I will only get older. I also realise i am getting to rigid, harsh and emotinally dry as days go by.
While i write this now, i am wondering why i am spilling a bit of my guts out on a public forum... when i normally cant talk about anything important with any one.
I guess that is why i have taken this long hiatus from blogging. I really could not think of any topics that were impersonal. And was scared to pen or keyboard anything that is really me. Maybe now is a good time to start something new. Maybe not.
If anyone does read this, please post your comments so i know.
Maybe the next instalment, i will try and talk about my career crisis.
Ambica, easy wid the introspection. Eat, drink and be merry. Cheers ;)
ReplyDelete"my creativity seems to have deserted me" - well i think its more likely its gone for a long walk hoping you would chase it which you are clearly not. once you do i am sure you will run into it soon enough!!i reckon creativity is like a sensitive and wild pet that wants to keep you on its toes!!
ReplyDelete"my problem is i get bored easy" - i think most people can relate to this, but boredom is merely a state of mind that we ourselves nurture. i reckon if you beat it out it will run away and never look back!! works for me...!!
"i am getting rigid, harsh and emotionally dry" - i know I can relate to this perfectly well and am also surrounded by people who can! i am not sure if its right to generalise this but most people go dry as they get older unless you keep digging that well which is more or less like a bottomless pit.
this world being such a paradox i dont understand how we can ever get bored or dry or parched or anything of the likes. There is so much to explore, sure its difficult but may be thats why we are just too scared and comfortable at the same time to make an effort!
ofcourse most times its the case of being puppets of the political system along side victims of sociological and cutltural patterns and conditions which are hard to break.
Maybe it's time to figure out a few things about your own life. A good thing to do would be to go away somewhere all alone, coax everything you think is the 'real you' out of your head and onto a piece of paper. I can guarantee it will take you somewhere, and somewhere closer to solving the many problems you seem to be having. You'll also be able to figure out if the root cause is just one thing or many.
ReplyDeleteOne last suggestion - this has got to be the one time you cannot be kind to or easy on yourself. Shake it all out girl.
And if you need a sounding board to see you through, i'm always around. :-)
Go for it.
By the way, you and i both know a person who believes can never talk about something important to anyone. Try being open with him, it might result in a miracle.
ReplyDeleteThis is to let you know that I did read it, long back in fact, but posting a comment only now 'coz my astrologer told me that posting comments in the 7th month of the year is highly auspicious and will work wonders for the blogger - so there, if u suddenly win a lottery tomorrow u know whom to share the prize with ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks darshi.lets hope i win the million bucks. of course i will share. how much... when i get the money!!
ReplyDeleteAmbi, your name itself covers that half destination of any 'Ambi'tion... which you desire...
ReplyDeleteFor a short timing that I have known you, you are an individual with never dying spirit...
kisi mahan aatma ne kaha hai...Everyone has inside of him/her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!