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Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Raam-esis


The coming soon took quite sometime to come, i know. But using a cliche, it's better late than never. The same can be said of Raam. Pyar se, I call him motu raam aur size se bhi woh motu raam hi hai.

I am sure you didn't miss the extra 'a' in Raam. Apparently, he changed it a couple of years back because RAM could be read as RAM as in Random Access Memory or Ram into something; the latter being true when it comes to him. Besides ram-ming into stuff like stones, bikes, trucks an autowallahs, there are lots of things Raam can do. Raam is Raavan - a man of excesses.

Raam likes to cook and loves to eat - the reason why he is motu raam . And when Raam cooks, all the characters of the Raamayana can eat - including the Lankans. Once he takes 2 hours to boil potatoes but this was only the one time where he did not want to cook but was forced to. Mostly he just cooks for the entire apartment. Whenever he comes home, he looks at what i have cooked and will say, "won't this be less?" His argument being 'there should be enough'; my thought being "enough for who? - 6 hippos?"

All things said, must say he cooks well - you must ask him to make cucumber poha and cucumber dal for you when you meet him. Both are the best use of cucumber in a cooked dish that i have ever tasted.

Another thing about Raam - he is extremely large hearted - there's that saying naa - dil dariya, g-samundar... Raam ka sab kuch samundar hai! If you ask him for something nicely he won't think twice; consider it yours.

And when he goes shopping to Metro... wow!! He spends more than the grocery store owners who purchase from there to sell in their stores. Have you seen anyone buying like 10 packets
of washing powder, 12 harpics, 6 cans of talc, 12 packs of deos at one go? Last time, I think he spent around 40K on these things... imagine :)

He wears his oldest clothes to work. Comfort comes first.

At one time in Bangalore, when he did not have a maid, he just kept buying shirts everyday for 2 months.

Raam and i get drunk and play antakshri . He always loses and the entire household quarantines us. He also loses at UNO; unless he has partnered with Anand and they are both cheating.

A true Hindi movie buff, he has seen every A, B, and C grade movie ever made and he has seen it more than 3 times each. He must have watched Sarkar and Ab tak Chhappan at least 44 times. Despite this he has never won a movie trivia bet against Chopi or me ever!

His blogs are never less than 2000 words. He seriously needs an Editor. (The only reason this blog is bigger than most of my other blogs - well, it's about Raam, you see!)

His lectures to Happy are never less than 2000 words either. That is probably the only reason Happy doesn't growl or bark or do anything in his presence...

His phone calls to family are longer than 15 minutes and he talks everyday. Yesterday, some poor guy was at the receiving end of a 12 minute long diatribe on what would happen if he dared call again. Normal people just hang up when they get an unwanted call; but then yeh to hamara Raam bhow hai na.

He can finish a can of deo in 4 days. He can also finish a bottle of whiskey in 4 hours.

He needs a nap every afternoon; only then his brain and ass function. And every evening he needs his CID reruns.

He is iron-man. Close friends know why; but for those who don't - ask Raam!

He is extremely loving and fights with me all the time to show his love.

He is going to post a lot of comments following this post - but then since i have written this he won't!

(Raam came to Hyderabad 3 years back, stayed with us for 5 months, post which he moved out to a place of his own; sharing it with Rohit. He is orginally from Belgaum and is Marathi / Kannada as it suits him. His father is black and mother white and thus Raam is brown. You can read his really really long blogs on - http://iamnopenbook.blogspot.com/)
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